“Dear Dolezal, my parents don’t approve of my boyfriend. What do I do?”
I’m so glad you asked this because this is a tale as old as time.
Generational racism is something we — as sisters — need, and shall, overcome.
Growing up on the westside of Montana, I learned from a very young age that people look at you differently just because of the color of your skin.
When I was nineteen and studying Afro-Thermodynamics at Howard, I too fell in love with someone of a different race.
His name was Colin and he was white. He went to George Washington and he majored in Africana Studies.
He also worked at the only Sunglass Hut in the D.C. area that sold Baby Phat eyewear.
That’s where we met.
When I brought Colin home to meet my parents during Kwanza break, my Baba nearly fell out of his dashiki!
But soon we were all laughing about our cultural differences while growing closer over a feast of fufu, Jollof rice, wild okra, and Ranch dressing.
My whirlwind romance only lasted from the first day of Umoja to the final hour of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day — yet that flame inside me burned harder and longer than any one of my seven African Power candles.
We had learned so much from each other — I taught him the hidden messages behind South Carolinian Negro spirituals and he introduced me to frozen yogurt.
When worlds collide…
So my advice to you is love who you love. But most importantly love yourself — you don’t want to live life walking around pretending to be someone you’re not.
Rachel Dolezal is an advice columnist and cultural correspondent for candy cigarettes.
Her new book, Black on Both Sides… And Then Some, hits newsstands on African Woman’s Day (July 31st, 2026).